Monday, January 25, 2010

Girl Torture Game Please Critique This Poem?

Please critique this poem? - girl torture game

Please do not hate, this poem means a lot to me.

*

After yesterday, it was a lost child
That the threat was a very gentle soul.

His name was Dunsany, dysfunctional and poor
She pleaded with his superiors, but never asked

Dolls blood and wounds, eye and amethyst
Dunsany cry only when hidden by the fog

Alone and frightened, hiding in the living words hurt
He drew blood, cruel, like knives stabbing

Running barefoot through a nightmare, and the next
Dunsany asked why she decided to get angry

Escape from a harsh world, where all the blame,
A lonely child learns our game of torture

Crying in a field of silver and gold
Memory of a tragedy that remains untold

5 comments:

  1. It was great.
    The first feeling I appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tori ♫♪♫♪♫January 30, 2010 at 8:26 AM

    It is a story that we might call the art of writing and then the rest of the story with photos ... I do not know why a picture book, but I do. This would be a pleasure, but not for a child, I think.

    Good choice of words, but where the chorus is to explain why. Not necessarily, just that I prefer to end with a good story.t

    ReplyDelete
  3. This piece is very emotional .... very descriptive words that you create the impressive performances at ... a good job in general ... a little sad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. WOW! Me gusta mucho. The true meaning comes to me. The poem is very sad. I love how he describes the torture.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I see that the three poems to read or lonely about the suicide girls
    sad
    But the writings of the Uruguay Round are large
    I really love them

    ReplyDelete